Alanis

 Unearthed an old notebook. 

February 2020

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It's amazing what four months can do. Before you, the words I wrote were, "the right man will scale and learn to love you." And then I met (you). And (you) love/loved (me). And now it (ended). Now it's over. 

How was it so serendipitous? (Or) was that (just) coincidence? Something that (I) just imagined. Something (I) wanted so bad that (I) connected the invisible dots (I) made up. Or was it fate?

What's the sense of wondering when it's over? Why do (I) need to know the reason when there is nothing left?

I'm sad. I'm super very sad.

I just want him. No one else. But I know that in my hearts of hearts, he will never choose me over - over his current situation. 

It's so hard to be heartbroken at this age, with all your knowledge on life and what you (perceive) to be right and/or logical.